Random Spoutings

So, my Best Friend got married last weekend..

She is 20..

It's weird.

The weekend, however, was quite fun, and I learned some new things about some people I thought I knew very well.

I've nearly decided that should the marriage bit ever happen for me, we will be visiting the courthouse.  There is TOO much stress involved in the typical wedding...  Not to mention the costs associated with said celebrations.

In other news, class started.  Everything you ever wanted to learn about American Lit, (part 2) crammed into approximately 1 month of 2hour classes every weekday...  I may die.

Dad, in trying to assist me in a search for a slightly more permanent job than the one I have, threw my name in the mix for a position with his company.  He failed to mention to the HR director, though, that I am still a full time student.  Full-Time student = Non-full-time employment = not really eligible for the job... and we find this out after he has enticed me with the news that the position pays almost double what I make per hour now.  That is just cruel! haha

Oh, my credit union decided to play a fun little game with my recent deposit, called "Let's put Jade's money in someone else's account and give her a heart attack."

In other news, tonight is my last night housesitting for the Alexanders.. I will be so glad to NOT be walking a dog at 6 in the morning anymore.  I will miss, however, being only 10 minutes away from my job, my school, and my church.. And anything else for that matter.  GB is a million miles from anything, and being in the middle of town has been amazing.  My MPG's are worse in the city, but I'm driving less, so that tank of gas STILL lasts longer.. 

I've felt isolated the past week.. My cell service is awful in this neighborhood, so if people have tried to speak to me, I can't get the calls.  

Today, I took a random drive about town.  I drove downtown, and through Chickasaw, Saraland, Satsuma, and Prichard.  It was nice to just sightsee for a change, but I wish I had had a passenger to two to share the ride with.

I also went to see the G'parents.  Granny made me eat dinner over there, because apparently, I looked hungry (?).  It was fantabulous, and it was a nice visit with them.

I need to go clean this house up now, so that it looks like it did when I arrived.. It will be a daunting task, because I am a slob.. and the dog has taken it upon himself to personally strew my loose clothing all about the house... It's a fun little game he plays..  (Well, HE thinks it is fun.... )

Jolly good day to you all!

Have a wonderful week.

~Jaderade

The Person I'm Becoming

I don't like the person I seem to be turning into.

I think things I never thought I would think.. I say things I said I'd never say.. I do things I said I'd never do...

And there is this one group of people that don't see this stuff, and they have me on this pedestal that I don't deserve to be on.  And there is another group that does see this stuff, and they have me driving the bus to hell.  I don't know how to end up back on middle ground where I am doing, saying, LIVING as I should be.

I can't keep doing this back and forth bit.  There are people that look up to me, and if they continue to see this downward spiral, it could shatter their view of the world and the way things work.  There are people that I look up to, that would be so disappointed or distraught if they knew what was going on all the time...

It's time for me to grow up and quit following the crowd.

But how do you do that when that's all you know?

I am a great storyteller...

I am a great storyteller.

At least, that's what Mark told me this time last week.  I concocted a fairly believable tale of a wild evening during Conference, and he truly thought that I was possibly telling the truth.  Unfortunately, I'm not a good liar, so I wasn't able to keep the charade going for long after the story's completion.  Oh well.. If nothing else pans out, perhaps Harlequin will be looking for new authors...

Mom pointed something out today.  If I do graduate next May as planned, I will not be covered on Dad's health insurance anymore.. That is going to be a bummer... Especially with the stuff I've been looking to do during that time.  I don't know how all of that will work out with no insurance... Maybe I'm doomed to stay in Medical Billing.. 

In other news, it has rained for the past 4 days.  I'm glad, but I haven't been able to just sit and enjoy it.  It decides to rain only while I'm in the office or on the road headed somewhere with a schedule to keep.  Growing up sucks sometimes.

I desperately need a day of playing in the park...  Too bad most of my friends have gone home for the summer.  I can't go by myself, because that makes me the creepy old person.... I get out of the car and walk toward the swings, all the Moms frantically look around and gather their children... Not a good day.  The last thing I need is to be on the 6 o'clock news as the possible predator lurking around the local park.. Geez...

Adulthood is going to kill my spirit.. I can already feel it.

Thoughts after the trip to Juarez

I've been back from the mission trip to Juarez for about a week and a half or so now. I still don't think I've fully readjusted to being home again, even though the trip was only a few days long. People ask about the trip, and i get excited, because it was a very different experience for me, and I want to talk about it. So, I start. And I just get more and more excited, and I can tell that they kind of get that glazed-over, "I'm gonna keep listening to you because I did ask about this, but I've really really lost interest" look. I've learned how to pick up on that, and realize that there is no way I can get them as excited about it as I am....

I had lunch with Johnny today. If I recall correctly, it was the first time we'd spoken since the trip. He asked how I was doing. I told him that home doesn't feel like "home" anymore, and I can't figure out why.. Juarez had something to do with it, I'm sure, but I'm also fairly certain that there's more to it than I'm seeing. A lot of things don't feel like "home" anymore. I keep kind of meandering through everything, hoping that something is gonna click, and make sense all of a sudden, but so far, no such luck. If all goes according to plan, by this time next year, I will have my degree in General Business. Please don't ask what that means, because I have no idea where that is gonna put me.

Jp told me that during the trip I seemed preoccupied. He had a notion as to what was causing it, and to a degree he was right. That is a matter not to be discussed here, but it is present, and if you've been around lately, you probably know about it.. Just trust me.. lol I was preoccupied. I've been preoccupied for a while, but I didn't realize it. My main problem is that I am very easily distracted.. And I don't mean simply "Ooooh look, something shiny..." I mean that my lack of interest in most things has made me gravitate towards those "distractions" that are fun for a moment or two. This means that my energies have been more devoted to short-term happiness instead of long-term happiness and fulfillment. This is definitely a problem that I need to take care of...

How do I do that, though?

I truly believe that when I die, I'll be laughing hysterically...

I'm Jade.  I smile and laugh.  

It doesn't make life easier, but it sure makes it more fun.

Life's too short to go around being sad and depressed all the time...

We take ourselves too seriously.

Sometimes, it's okay to just make a fool of yourself (which is good, since I'm becoming a pro at this!)

On to other things now:

Summer is upon us.

These coastal summers are nice, but after spending a week in Mexico, I realize that life without humidity could quite possibly be as close to heaven as we can get on Earth...  I miss those dry mornings.. On the other hand, I'm not a huge fan of dust storms.. Perhaps my salty white beaches and horrendously frizzy locks aren't so bad after all.........

I'm sick today.  I think it is just sinuses.  All I know is that I want it to go away soon.

My car is still amazing... But I've been logging some miles on it in the past week or so.  It is so much fun to drive around doing nothing, but I need to resist the urge to sightsee right now.

Okay, I'm done.. This a little weird, and I feel like I'm talking to myself. 

(no comments on me being crazy allowed! )