Thoughts after the trip to Juarez

I've been back from the mission trip to Juarez for about a week and a half or so now. I still don't think I've fully readjusted to being home again, even though the trip was only a few days long. People ask about the trip, and i get excited, because it was a very different experience for me, and I want to talk about it. So, I start. And I just get more and more excited, and I can tell that they kind of get that glazed-over, "I'm gonna keep listening to you because I did ask about this, but I've really really lost interest" look. I've learned how to pick up on that, and realize that there is no way I can get them as excited about it as I am....

I had lunch with Johnny today. If I recall correctly, it was the first time we'd spoken since the trip. He asked how I was doing. I told him that home doesn't feel like "home" anymore, and I can't figure out why.. Juarez had something to do with it, I'm sure, but I'm also fairly certain that there's more to it than I'm seeing. A lot of things don't feel like "home" anymore. I keep kind of meandering through everything, hoping that something is gonna click, and make sense all of a sudden, but so far, no such luck. If all goes according to plan, by this time next year, I will have my degree in General Business. Please don't ask what that means, because I have no idea where that is gonna put me.

Jp told me that during the trip I seemed preoccupied. He had a notion as to what was causing it, and to a degree he was right. That is a matter not to be discussed here, but it is present, and if you've been around lately, you probably know about it.. Just trust me.. lol I was preoccupied. I've been preoccupied for a while, but I didn't realize it. My main problem is that I am very easily distracted.. And I don't mean simply "Ooooh look, something shiny..." I mean that my lack of interest in most things has made me gravitate towards those "distractions" that are fun for a moment or two. This means that my energies have been more devoted to short-term happiness instead of long-term happiness and fulfillment. This is definitely a problem that I need to take care of...

How do I do that, though?

I truly believe that when I die, I'll be laughing hysterically...

I'm Jade.  I smile and laugh.  

It doesn't make life easier, but it sure makes it more fun.

Life's too short to go around being sad and depressed all the time...

We take ourselves too seriously.

Sometimes, it's okay to just make a fool of yourself (which is good, since I'm becoming a pro at this!)

On to other things now:

Summer is upon us.

These coastal summers are nice, but after spending a week in Mexico, I realize that life without humidity could quite possibly be as close to heaven as we can get on Earth...  I miss those dry mornings.. On the other hand, I'm not a huge fan of dust storms.. Perhaps my salty white beaches and horrendously frizzy locks aren't so bad after all.........

I'm sick today.  I think it is just sinuses.  All I know is that I want it to go away soon.

My car is still amazing... But I've been logging some miles on it in the past week or so.  It is so much fun to drive around doing nothing, but I need to resist the urge to sightsee right now.

Okay, I'm done.. This a little weird, and I feel like I'm talking to myself. 

(no comments on me being crazy allowed! )